Once Upon A Crack
by andyrewr
Summary: This is a random story revolving around Rumple


Once Upon a Crack (Chapter 1)

Once upon a time Rumple made a deal with a costume shop owner. Rumple settled for a costume that reminded him of Baelfire, after he went to the palace for a day of scheming with Regina to ruin the Blue Fairy's plans, Rumple decided to wear the costume. He thought the cape was lame so he turned it into a giant pair of polka dot shorts, and wore it as a cape. He put on the mask and went for a walk. When he noticed a black unicorn Rumple giggled as he skipped toward it. The unicorn froze and turned his head, looked at Rumple, blinked and let out a few short sounds [unicorn... OH MY GOD ha ha ha ha] Rumple smiled at the unicorn tilted his head, giggled and mounted it.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke it was mother's day and Regina and Henry were having apple pie. Mr. Gold walked in and threw apples at Regina.

"Tag! You're it!" Laughed Mr. Gold.

A flash of light.

"AHHH ALIENS! I TOLD YOU THEY EXIST! They are watching everything we do!" Henry screamed in horror.

"That's not an alien. That's Sidney, the peeping tom, in the window." Regina explained.

Regina ducked then hid behind a chair. She noticed her hat and filled it up with tea cups, grinned and tossed the hat as hard as she could at Rumple. Rumple had dodged the attack, but when he was hit by a second hat he looked at it in horror as he pulled a tea cup out of it.

"How dare you throw tea cups at me!" shouted Mr. Gold as he continued his apple bombardment.

"AHHH! An alien has possessed Mr. Gold!" Henry laughed.

Henry ran away unable to contain his laughter. Regina, ducking and dodging the best she could, ran out the door after Henry. Rumple opened the window.

"Was that an exciting enough story for you, Sidney?" Mr Gold asked.

"Yes but..." Sidney began as he handed Mr. Gold a unicorn lunchbox filled with apple sauce cups.

Mr. Gold let out an excited giggle and ran after Regina.

The Evil Queen was talking to her mirror when a madman on a black unicorn with a polka-dot cape crashed through her window. The madman wore black leather pants, and a black leather top with two red gothic letters; 'S' and 'R' sewed onto it. The man had a black mask that covered his hair.

"Ta-da!" exclaimed the madman.

"What are you supposed to be, some kind of super hero?" mocked the Evil Queen.

"You are now my arch nemesis, we must do battle!" replied the madman.

"Seriousl.." started The Queen.

*POOF*

The Evil Queen looked down to see that her dress had been replaced by a short skirt, and long black jacket and her staff had morphed into a horse whip. She looked up realizing the only man who could have thought to do something so outrageous. The Evil Queen smirked then winked. Rumple dismounted and walked toward the Queen, pulled her to him from her waist and giggled.

{20 minutes later outside the room...}

Two guards were standing guard at the door, bored and playing with their thumbs, when they heard what they thought was screaming.

"Did you hear that?" asked the first guard.

"Should we go in?" asked the other guard.

"No... I mean... yes." replied the first guard.

The first guard then opened the door gently, just enough to peered in. He opened his visor, closed his visor and gently let the door close.

"What?" asked the other guard.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke, it was night time and the new happier Mr. Gold was finishing up washing the dishes with Belle. Gold was telling Belle about the prank he and Sidney played on Regina. Mr. Gold had seriously become a different person after being reunited with Belle; he had waived this month's rent for some of the store owners.

The doorbell rang; Rumple opened the door only to find a chest with a card taped to the top. Mr. Gold brought it in the house and put it in front of the couch.

"What is it?" Belle asked.

"It's from Steve the costume shop Owner." answered Mr Gold.

"Halloween costumes!" Belle exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly.

Gold Giggled as he and Belle searched the chest looking for the perfect costume. Belle pulled out a horse whip waved it around and put it back in, then Mr. Gold picked out a costume with a polka-dot short cape.

"Now isn't that sexy!" giggled Belle "you could be super polka-dot man!"

"Now if only you had a short skirt and long polka-dot jacket, then you could be my side kick." Mr Gold laughed.

Regina had just taken a bath and gotten dressed when she heard a knock at the door. She calmly walked to the door and opened it, she was pissed off to find that irritating blonde at her door. _My day just keeps getting better, _she thought_, wasn't the apple sauce bath bad enough? What was she doing here?_

"What do you want, Miss Swan?" asked Regina.

"Well, I heard about the apple fiasco, I wouldn't be surprised if you would never want to see another apple again." Emma teased, "I have the chainsaw in my trunk if you want me cut down that apple tree for you."

"Just try and I'll..."started Regina

"Okay." Emma replied quickly. As she ran to her car and picked up the chainsaw from the trunk of her car and raced to Regina's back yard.

"Oh my god! Don't! Wait!" screamed Regina as she ran after the crazed Emma

The unicorn woke Rumple by grazing him with its horn. Rumple rolled over and noticed the sun was rising; the unicorn was still there waiting for him. Rumple was amused by the idea of having a unicorn as a pet; he would have to find it a name, if it doesn't leave him anytime soon. He went around the room picking his costume and putting it on. When he finished he mounted the unicorn and left the room leaving the Queen still sleeping in her bed. Rumple waved to the guards who he knew were smirking at him behind those visors, and made his way down the hall when he noticed a funny looking top hat behind a cracked open door. Rumple picked up the hat when he remembered were he had seen it before, he smiled, put it on his head and left the castle.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Belle woke up, and noticed that Mr. Gold had already left the bed. She got out of bed and slipped into her fuzzy beast slippers then went downstairs in search for Gold. She found him on the couch in front of the fire place, she knew that he was still mourning the loss of his son. She also knows that he will either cry or deny this if she even attempts to discuss the issue once again. So she left him there to get the paper and turned on the coffee machine, when she read the headline by Sidney in the Mirror.

"You threw apple sauce at Regina!?" Belle sounded surprised with a hint of laughter in her voice. "I bet you will be very popular today".

Mr. Gold giggled, "Yes, everybody loves me, the Polka-dot man who pelted the evil mayor with apples."


End file.
